engagement | sung + joseph

I've had the pleasure of getting to know sung and Joseph this past year and most recently, the honor of taking their engagement photos. there was a specific moment during their engagement session when I was struck by how much these two are in love with each other. you see, these two are high school sweethearts, and from what the world tells me, by this time in their relationship they should be so comfortable with each other that that love should've diminished and cooled. this is far from the case though. their relationship is found on something so much greater that it's impossible to miss the way their eyes light up whenever they look at each other. love that's so visible that I wish I could just follow them around and take pictures of them all the time. even through the crowd, heat, and passing showers, I found myself getting swept away by them. 

thanks for sharing your love with me sung & Joseph <3

20140831_suejoob_09.jpg
20140831_suejoob_17.jpg

portait | raven

i recently came across this diagram, and though i'm sure it was meant for chuckles... i feel like it's kind of spot on hahaha going back to the main topic here, i took some new headshots for raven, who happens to be a wonderful photographer, and who has many times been that voice that has kept me from drowning in my "crippling self doubt." i can't thank her enough for this.

in the short time we've known each other, she's served as kind of a mentor, colleague, friend and everything else rolled into one. i'm beyond thankful that our paths have crossed and that we are able to continuously grow together... hahaha this is so incredibly cheesy (i'm sure you're thinking the same raven). but seriously, thank you for your perspective, your voice and your initial foresight that has allowed me to be able to call myself a photographer today. 

i think everyone should have a raven in their lives :) 

growing pains

the month of july has been extremely trying personally. self-discoveries were made and i was once again reminded how everything in life isn't what it seems... including my sense of identity. i can only imagine the anxiety my mother must have felt while she raised me, her only child, as she ceaselessly ensured that i would grow up to be emotionally and intellectually sufficient. i think that was the magic word growing up, "be self-sufficient". 

it's almost ironic now when i think about it because i feel like my innate need to be self-sufficient has hindered me from being honest with myself and ultimately from showing grace to myself. i let that seed fester instead of nurturing it inside of me, and it became an obsession to be put together, responsible and unmoved (clearly my definition of self-sufficient is very off). i didn't let myself be affected by what was going on around me, and even when i thought i was being vulnerable i was fiercely guarding this ideal i had for myself. i've realized it got so bad that i spent a lot of my twenties living in denial of what was going on inside of me. i was okay, no really, i was OKAY... because it wasn't acceptable for me not to be.

in short, i didn't allow myself to live. 

as i embark on my last year in my twenties, i know that i can't undo any of the hurt i've inflicted on myself, but i can definitely work on learning to love myself amidst all my brokenness.